Wednesday, April 21, 2010

How weird am I?

Recent reflections have convinced me that I am a bit different, if not totally weird. I seem to have a little system for everything.

Here are three examples.

1. I have a technique for sneezing while driving. As you know, when you sneeze, your eyes involuntarily close for a second or two. At sixty miles per hour, your vehicle is covering 88 feet per second, so during the sneeze, your car will travel as much as 176 feet (55 yards or half a football field). All with your eyes closed!

The technique is this. When you feel a sneeze coming on, close one eye deliberately. When you sneeze, the other eye will remain open. I don't know why, but that's the way it works. This way, you'll be watching the road during the sneeze.

2. I have a technique for buttoning up a dress shirt when in a hurry. There are six buttons (not counting the collar button, which I normally leave open). This is the order that I button them in:

This way, after the second or third button, if there is something going on in the next room and I have to appear there right away, the shirt is modestly closed up while I complete the remaining buttons.

3. I have a technique for putting the lid on a cup of hot chocolate to avoid drips. Here is a drawing of the cup showing the seam that goes the length of the cup on one side.

If you put the drinking spout on, aligned with the seam, then the drink will leak out as you tip the cup to your mouth, and spot your shirt. So, I align the drinking spout of the cover with the opposite side to avoid that problem.

There you go. Three tips for the day.

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