Shortly before Christmas, in my grade six class, the teacher asked those students who (still) believed in Santa Claus to please stand.
One girl stood up right away. I hesitated, thinking about lying by not standing.
But, I thought I saw some movement outside through the corner of my eye. That could be Banjo-eyes, the elf specifically assigned to monitor my behavior to see if I was good or bad. Clearly, denying the existence of Santa Claus would be bad, and could lead to no presents that year. So, I stood, too.
The class tittered. Then one of the boys in the front said, "Look, now he's going to cry!"
Obligingly, under the full attention of thirty-some pairs of eyes, I quietly shed some tears. More tittering.
That night, safely at home, I thought through the math of the situation, and decided that Santa Claus couldn't possibly get in all the visits in one night, and a bit of innocence was lost. Along with a few tears. And the cause of Santa Claus lost one defender.
Narrative jailbreaking for fun and profit
1 hour ago
1 comment:
Ah, but Christmas doesn't fall on the same day everywhere in the world, and I'm not just talking about time differences. In Russia they celebrate Christmas on January 7th, for example. Therefore, Santa isn't required to complete his run of deliveries in one night.
Also, it's possible there are multiple "Santa Clauses." For example, in Russia they don't believe in Santa Claus but in Ded Moroz. So I don't believe Santa would visit Russia, just as Ded Moroz wouldn't visit North America.
Plus there's all the naughty children he doesn't have to give gifts to.
I don't think Santa is as busy as you originally calculated.
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